Erik's horrible novels

This is actually almost too easy for me. I’ve had a few failed novels… and they weren’t just ones that I never got off the ground. I actually started writing a novel twice and gave up both times. I know exactly why I failed, too. It was a mixture between being too self-centric and a lack of imagination. The two are almost completely intertwined. I have a hard time coming up with ideas for stories on my own, so I was doing the easiest thing and trying to write something at least partially based around myself. The first try was at least partially imaginative. Gabe and I have discussed my problems getting unique ideas for writing. We decided that my strength would actually be in writing fan-fiction, or stories based on someone else’s original ideas i.e. Star Wars novels. That’s not something that I’m really that interested in doing, but it’s exactly what I tried to do when I was about 15.

Back when I was a much more obvious nerd, I (and my friends) were very into the Star Wars Collectible Card Game. At one point, someone realized that we could use a regular pencil eraser to change the cards. We started making funny cards and cards that were doppelgangers of ourselves. I made a card named ‘Lord Erik’. It was a simple Imperial Pilot card that I modified to be invincible. Twisted, I know. The funniest thing that happened while I was making the card though. I ended up exploring this made up character’s back-story. I had so much of it mapped out. Where he was from, how he got where he was… the whole thing. So during the summer, I actually did attempt to write it. I don’t recommend a Texas Instruments calculator as a medium for writing though. It’s slower, and that can really curb your inthusiasm.

Despite all of this, I did push out maybe a chapter and a half’s worth, if I remember right. It’s hard to remember because I really had so much of it in my head. Anyway, two words: Horrible Plot. The whole thing would’ve ended with Darth Vader defecting to Lord Erik’s side after the first Death Star blew up, and it was really a clone that died in the battle with an emperor. Retarded stuff, really.

The second failure was self-serving by the very definition. I had just been blown away after a failed relationship and was very depressed. I started writing a mix between a retrospective on all my past relationships, and a look into the semi-near future. The story actually took place about a year from the time I started writing. That was really the only really horrible part of the story… it was like a utopia… it was my hopes and dreams, for the most part. I don’t consider this writing to be a total failure though. I was writing because I needed to regain perspective on my life. I was looking at my past relationships, and looking at where I wanted my life to go. It was really a good thing for me, and I think I completed much of what I needed to in this instance.

The novel was a failure (would’ve been boring anyway), but my project wasn’t.